


Not Okay

by Thatoneloser_kid



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 10:25:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15884160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatoneloser_kid/pseuds/Thatoneloser_kid
Summary: Jester x Beau x Yasha? beau is having nightmares after watching molly die but feels like she cant bring it up because of what Yasha and Jester went through?





	Not Okay

**Author's Note:**

> If you have an prompts for any of the couples/OT3 then send them to me on tumblr? Thatoneloser-kid.tumblr.com

Beau knew that after what happened there would be some sort of lingering effects.

In the space of two days they lost and found three of their friends, made three new friends and watched one have a sword driving into their chest.

There had to be some lasting effects.

Beau just didn’t expect it to be her, she wasn’t exactly the closest with Molly.

She thought it would have been one of the three taken, Fjord already coughed up water in his sleep, and what they went through in those few days, the state they were in when they found them, that should have been the ones waking covered in sweat and panting.

Or even Caleb, who killed many people in the space of days with fire, he should be having PTSD.

Not. Beau.

Beau went through nothing, not really.

She watched Molly die then did what she always done, found comfort in the arms of a stranger. Well, not necessarily a stranger this time but someone who she knew wasn’t sticking around.

But she got Jester and Yasha back, and then she offered to do the first watch the first night because there was no way she could sleep after everything that had happened.

She had gone way over her time, spending all of it just staring at her friends, giving them a much needed rest.

Yasha was the first to wake, silently sitting herself down beside Beau. They were there, in silence, for a good half an hour before Jester sat herself down on the other side, much closer than Yasha had.

“No one has asked how you are, Beau.” Yasha commented after a little over an hour.

“Huh? Yeah. I’m fine, dude, I’m-“ Beau shrugged. “I wasn’t taken by a human trafficker.”

“It’s okay to not be okay, Beau.” Jester assured softly.

“You watched a friend die, that isn’t easy.”

“I’m okay,” Beau said, and she had to be, because her friends had been tortured, both mentally and physically. She had to be okay. For them.

Yasha nodded, her large arm encircling around the both of them as she shuffled closer.

“If you say so,” Jester said in that playfully singsong way, nuzzling against Beau’s side before placing a hand on her cheek and forcing her to look at her. “But it would be okay if you weren’t.”

Then Jester kissed her, quick and hard on the lips, and all Beau could do was nodded quickly.

Things didn’t really change after that.

Jester acted like they didn’t kiss and Yasha acted like she didn’t see it, or maybe they just acted the same because why change? Why talk about it?

Beau didn’t sleep much for the next few days, which everyone noticed but no one commented on, until day three and Beau was stumbling as they made their way back to Zedash.

Yasha scooped her up out of nowhere, causing Beau to speak in surprise.

“Yasha,” Beau frowned, glancing at Yasha them to the group that were a few feet in front of them, bar Jester, who was walking along side them like nothing had happen. “What are you doing?”

“You are exhausted, Beau.” Jester answered.

“You need to sleep,” Yasha agreed.

“You can’t carry me like this for long.”

Yasha scoffed and Jester laughed.

“Yasha is super dooper strong,” Jester said, grinning almost proudly up at the barbarian.

“I’m fine guys, I can walk.”

“No need,” Yasha assured, holding Beau tight against her. Beau went to argue, but before she could Yasha kissed her, softer than Jester had, and Beau tensed up, glancing at Jester who was bouncing along side them, a soft smile on her lips as she looked at them.

That was when Beau realised that maybe the two woman she had found herself tumbling head over heels for actually like her back, and maybe liked each other?

It was something they should probably talk about. It was something they definitely wouldn’t talk about.

The first night they stayed at an inn she ended up sharing with Jester and Yasha.

They were with Ophelia so they stayed at a fancy big Inn with huge beds, big enough for the three of them to fit in.

Beau had no excuse not to sleep, they didn’t need someone to keep watch, she had no option but to get into bed, in between the two strong woman.

There was something safe about it, being curled against Yasha chest, Jester pressed against her back.

Then she slipped, her mind blank, then it wasn’t.

The first thing she seen was Molly’s face, his stupid jewels on his horns. his red eyes were an endless black, blood trickling from his eyes, nose and mouth. He was lifeless, dead, and Beau couldn’t help but think it was partially her fault.

Why hadn’t she got a hit on Lorenzo before he had impaled Molly? Why hadn’t she protected her stupid, dysfunctional family?

She failed to protect Fjord, Yasha and Jester from being taken. She failed at keeping Molly alive.

Beau woke with a gasp, and when she opened her eyes Jester and Yasha were already awake, watching her with worried eyes.

Beau swallowed thickly, avoiding their eye as she sat up.

“You aren’t coughing up water, are you?” Jester questioned and Beau had to chuckle.

“No, Jester.”

“Beauregard,” Yasha voice was more serious, her eyes soft and caring. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sorry if I woke you guys.”

Jester shuffled right up against her, her fingertips trailing up and down Beau’s side. “You were saying his name, Beau.”

“It was just- bad dream.” Beau chuckled, more on reflex than anything.

“Beau,” Yasha said her name with such a commanding tone that Beau could only look over her shoulder at her.

Yasha didn’t say anything, she didn’t really need too, there were so many questions in her eyes.

_Are you okay?_

_What was it about?_

_Talk to us._

_What are you wrestling with?_

Beau didn’t answer any of those questions, she just reclined back, letting her forehead rest against Yasha’s chest, taking comfort in Yasha’s strong around the two of them and Jester’s soft tickling of her side.

“We are here, Beau.” Yasha whispered.

“Whenever you’re ready.” Jester added.

Beau didn’t talk.

Beau did what Beau did best, used a warm body as comfort.

But this time it wasn’t a stranger, or dwarf that was inevitable going to leave.

This time it was Yasha and Jester.

They had been drinking, the group finding comfort and laughter in each other, but Beau was distant, spacey, drink in one hand her chin in the other.

Beau didn’t ever realise Fjord, Nott, Caduceus, and Caleb had left until Jester’s fingers tickled down her jaw.

Beau startled, her eyes focusing on Yasha across from her, now on the bench alone.

Yasha slid her hand up Beau’s  head to her forearm, her eyes not leaving Beau’s. “Would you like to go upstairs?”

Beau nodded, she knew that look in Yasha’s eyes.

Jester traced the tip of her nose up Beau’s cheek before whispering into her ear. “She means for sex,” she clarified, kissing the spot just below Beau’s ear.

“Yeah, yeah.” Beau could fell her body quiver and she subconsciously tilted her head to give Jester more room to work with. “I got that.”

They tumbled into the large, comfortable bed together, Beau feeling a little overwhelmed at the attention.

Beau tried to take some kind of control, give Yasha and Jester the attention they deserved, but they didn’t allow it, both of their attentions entirely on Beau.

Beau was exhausted in the best way come the end, Jester’s horned head resting in Beau’s stomach while Yasha was propped up on her side, watching both of them.

Things changed after that, Jester draped herself over either Beau or Yasha, Yasha always seemed to be touching Beau or Jester in some way, and they kissed in public.

If the Nein were at all surprised by this development they didn’t show it, at least at first.

It took about a week for Nott to snap.

They were in a small tavern in a shady town and Yasha got up to get them more drinks, a soft smile on her lips when Beau tilted her head back. Yasha dipped down, pressing a lingering kiss on Beau’s lips.

Nott had been hunched together with Jester, probably conspiring about something, when Jester just stopped mid-sentence, her eyes drifting to Yasha when she stood, her eye softening at the display of affection from the girls.

“Are we just pretending this isn’t happening?” Nott huffed, looking from Fjord to Caleb.

“Nott,” Fjord warned.

“No, Yasha is all mushy, Beau is _smiling_.” Nott pointed accusingly at Beau before turning to Jester, pointing at her. “and _you_ , you are getting distracted during detectiveing.”

“We love each other,” Jester shrugged, like it was obvious, and, though none of them had said it, it was blatantly obvious for the group. “And we are having lots and lots of sex.”

Nott’s face morphed into a look of disgust, “Ew, no.”

Beau looked proud of herself when Nott looked at her, nodding smugly at her.

“I’m sorry I asked.” Nott grumbled, taking a swig of her flask.

Beau kept waking with nightmare, even with the comfort and strength of her companions surrounding her.

It was one night after sex that Beau brought it up.

“Are you guys having nightmares?” Beau questioned, tracing her fingertips distractedly up and down Jester’s horns.

“I do,” Yasha agreed, and both Yasha and Beau looked at Jester, who was drawing little patterns on Beau’s stomach.

Beau thought back to the talk she had with Fjord, about Jester, about how she had dealt with being in being locked up.

Jester glanced at them, doing a double take when she saw them looking at her. “Oh, of course I do.” Jester’s voice was too preppy for the subject matter. “I watched them beat and hurt my family and I could do nothing.”

Beau was a little taken aback and felt a little stupid. Jester was always so forthright, straight up with them, she didn’t know why she hadn’t thought of just asking Jester how she was holding up.

“You were always so happy, trying to make us feel better.” Yasha sighed, stroking down Jester’s cheek.

“If you force a smile it will make you feel better.” Jester shrugged. “Put on a happy face and don’t let what you can’t control get you down.”

There was a softness on Yasha’s face, probably the same softness that was on Beau’s.

“But we are going to be okay,” Jester assured, and sounded like she genuinely believed that, giving a hard nod. “We’re a family, and we lost someone we loved, but Molly would want us to get on with it, to be happy and remember him as the man who left every town better than how he found it.”

Beau found herself staring over at Jester with a soft smile, a feeling of love blossoming in her chest when Yasha pressed a lingering kiss to Jester’s lips.

Jester grinned widely, her tail wrapping around Beau’s ankle as she settled in again. “We should have been doing this from the beginning.”

Beau scoffed. “Yasha wouldn’t even hold me at the circus.”

“You were obnoxious,” Yasha commented. “I wasn’t about to give in to your dump flirting.”

“Hey!” Beau argued.

“You are kind of obnoxious, Beau.” Jester said. “But when you get attention back you are a mess, totally useless.”

Yasha had a little grin on her lips at Jester’s words.

“Not true! I bagged Keg.”

“Sure, but how many more woman did you hit on before Keg?” Jester tilted her head back to look up at Beau.

“I- that’s irrelevant.” Beau huffed, a little frown on her face.

“It’s okay, Beau.” Jester assured while Yasha smoothed her thumb over her crinkled brow. “You’re a disaster, but we still love you.”

Beau grumbled, “You guys suck.”

Jester wiggled against her, dancing. “And you love us,” she sang.


End file.
